


Shame

by dokyun (kissthesea)



Category: History (Band)
Genre: Bruises, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Painplay, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-11 23:50:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4457234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissthesea/pseuds/dokyun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is on the line with History's comeback on the horizon, and Dokyun is feeling the pressure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shame

Dokyun is the last through the front door tonight. Kyungil is first, hood up, hands shoved into the front of his sweatshirt and shoulders hunched. That hunch has gotten worse over the course of the day, and Dokyun can't blame him. Jaeho and Yijung follow their leader closely, as always trying to liven the mood, but Dokyun doubts even they find themselves amusing tonight. Before following the pair inside, Sihyung glances back at Dokyun. His expression is hard to read and Dokyun looks away lest he sees pity there. He purposefully drags his feet to make sure, by the time he enters the dorm, he doesn't have to see or interact with anyone. 

He almost gets his wish. Kyungil is long gone by the time Dokyun closes the front door behind him, and he catches the tail end of Jaeho and Yijung bickering their way into their own room. The only one left is Sihyung, casually going through the motions of making tea in the kitchen. When Dokyun removes his shoes and makes a bee-line for the couch, Sihyung doesn't raise his eyes.

The quiet is oddly comforting. Dokyun sinks into the worn piece of furniture with a noisy sigh. He isn't completely alone, but he can't keep up the facade any longer. His arms scream at him. His knees ache, and he knows it'll be worse in the morning. This pain has been building for the past three days, since their choreographer had them start practicing for their new song. When he closes his eyes he can picture the seemingly impossible distance between him and the floor, how he's somehow expected to dive towards it without killing himself. Dokyun clenches his teeth and winces, shifting to alleviate the strain on his worst bruises. He feels dampness at the corners of his eyes and blinks it away, but he can't help the cold, heavy feeling of despair that makes the walk from the couch to his room seem awfully long.

Throwing an arm over his face, he takes a deep breath. To his horror, his chest shakes in a half-sob. This is idiotic, he reminds himself. He's not the only one with stiffness and bruises tonight. All of them will be lingering a little too long in the shower tomorrow morning, trying to will away old pains to make room for the new yet to come. He is, however, the only one who hasn't even remotely succeeded at the dive yet. The most important part of their choreography. The choreography for the song that with, hopefully, finally get them the recognition they crave.

"Hyung," a familiar deep voice interrupts his thoughts. Dokyun looks up and Sihyung is hovering near the couch, a cup of tea in each hand. He holds one out for Dokyun, who takes it after observing Sihyung's face carefully. He shifts to make room for Sihyung on the couch, but Sihyung waves him off and settles on the floor instead, long limbs folding neatly beneath him. His bright yellow socks look ridiculous sticking out of his jeans. It doesn't quite make Dokyun smile, but he's able to take another breath and sip the tea.

"You should sleep," Dokyun observes lamely.

"So should you," Sihyung counters with a shrug. He takes a long drink from his tea but doesn't take his eyes off of Dokyun. "You fell a lot today. Are you okay?"

Dokyun tenses to defend himself, but the look in Sihyung's eyes isn't accusing or critical, not even frustrated, which is a look Dokyun has gotten used to seeing in the eyes of the others over the past few days. It's kind of nice, just being asked if he's okay without the lingering anxiety because he _needs_ to be able to do this, they have so much riding on it. "I'm fine," he replies. "No worse than you are, I'm sure." He manages a laugh, but he's too tired to be convincing.

Setting his now empty cup on the floor, Sihyung moves closer to the couch. "Show me." At Dokyun's incredulous look, Sihyung raises his eyebrows. "I saw you hit the floor, hyung. Every time."

Dokyun flushes, but doesn't stop Sihyung from lifting the hem of his shirt up slightly, though he winces. "If I don't get it tomorrow, I don't know what I'm going to do." For some reason, it's always Sihyung that sees him like this. Sihyung with his awkward comments and unpredictable behavior. There's something comforting about not knowing exactly what Sihyung thinks, though. The others are by comparison too easy to read. Kyungil's frustration, followed quickly by muted disdain. Yijung's disbelief and that he can manage the move but Dokyun can't. Jaeho's nagging sympathy. Sihyung doesn't reply to Dokyun's comment, looking over Dokyun's chest carefully.

Cold fingers press against a particularly bad bruise at Dokyun's hip and he hisses. Sihyung clicks his tongue and retreats to the kitchen for ice. "Worry about that, for now," he finally says.

To his horror, Dokyun feels the tears return. If Sihyung notices, he doesn't react, staring down at Dokyun with the same neutral expression. There's no way Sihyung can understand how Dokyun feels; Sihyung, who'd been the first to make the dive, who had been immediately moved to the front of the formation because everyone agrees he can do it best. But there's no way he can voice his thoughts, and when Sihyung grabs him by the wrist to yank him up, Dokyun lets him. His sore body protests, but he refuses to make a sound as Sihyung leads him to his room. He expects Sihyung to shove him inside and leave him there, he deserves as much, but instead Sihyung closes the door behind them and gently backs Dokyun up until he can settle on the edge of his bed.

"Sihyung?" His voice sounds as pathetic as he feels, and it's embarrassing, but he's glad Sihyung doesn't leave. He lifts his arms when Sihyung tugs at his shirt, and obediently hands over the ice when Sihyung gestures for it. 

"Lie down, hyung," Sihyung murmurs and Dokyun complies slowly, his muscles too stiff to do anything quickly. The way Sihyung moves above him to settle on top of Dokyun's legs with practiced ease makes Dokyun smile. "You need to take better care of yourself." The grumbling annoyance in Sihyung's voice is the most beautiful thing Dokyun has heard all day.

Resting his hands on Sihyung's thighs, Dokyun sighs. "You do it so much better."

An eyebrow twitches, and the pack of ice falls right onto Dokyun's chest. He hisses and bats the chilly thing away, but can't help but laugh. Sihyung leans forward and Dokyun lunges forward to meet him, sore muscles and bruises be damned, pulling Sihyung the rest of the way into the kiss. "I told you to lie down," Sihyung mutters into Dokyun's ear. Dokyun mumbles a protest when Sihyung pushes him back down, but there's no arguing with that glare.

Thankfully Sihyung doesn't go far, rewarding Dokyun's obedience with light kisses along his neck. Dokyun's eyes flutter closed, and he's about to make another comment about how good Sihyung is at taking care of him, when Sihyung's mouth finds a bruise at Dokyun's collarbone. The kiss isn't hard, but the injured flesh reacts to the slight pressure immediately. Dokyun hisses and cranes his neck to look at Sihyung. "That hurts," he says, swallowing because that should be pretty obvious.

"Relax," Sihyung replies. He gives Dokyun a wicked smile that Dokyun would usually find extremely arousing except that Sihyung's mouth goes right back to his chest. He relaxes a little when Sihyung sticks to undamaged skin. Sihyung's hair is soft between his fingers, though Dokyun is still trying to adjust to the blonde. Just when he's settling into Sihyung's gentle touches, Sihyung's tongue presses into an abrasion on Dokyun's ribs. He tenses and gasps, but the pain is brief and followed by a series of kisses along his stomach that have Dokyun's mind reeling. The jolt of pain makes the tingling of the kisses both a relief and more intense. Dokyun doesn't understand it, but this time he doesn't pull away. He finds Sihyung watching him and grinning. "See? I know what I'm doing."

Dokyun laughs shakily. He can't even begin to respond to that, especially when Sihyung resumes his kisses so low on Dokyun's stomach he can trace where Dokyun's skin meets the elastic of his sweatpants. His long fingers pull the elastic down just enough to dip his tongue under the line.

"Shit, _please_ , Sihyung," Dokyun groans, his fingers now tangled in Sihyung's hair. He might have found his voice embarrassing if he didn't know Sihyung liked it like this.

Sure enough, at the plea in Dokyun's voice Sihyung finishes stripping Dokyun of the rest of his clothes. Idly, Dokyun thinks it's a shame how dressed Sihyung is, but he isn't about to protest, not when Sihyung wraps his beautiful fingers around Dokyun's dick, and Dokyun pushes off the bed into the touch, bruised body and all. Sihyung growls something Dokyun can't make out through the feeling of Sihyung's hand on him, but then Sihyung's free hand shoves Dokyun back into place on the bed, pressing right into the giant bruise on Dokyun's hip.

This time Dokyun cries out, though he's not sure if in pain or pleasure, because Sihyung starts stroking him, not at the slow, teasing pace Sihyung prefers to use at first, but fast and unforgiving. The bruise on Dokyun's hips seems to throb in time with Sihyung's stroking, and the combination of sensations makes Dokyun see stars. Okay, he actually just squeezes his eyes closed a little too tightly, but it seems an apt comparison all things considered.

"Sihyung, I can't- I," Dokyun gasps, but Sihyung doesn't slow down to hear what Dokyun wants to say, and Dokyun can't keep his mind on any single thought long enough to finish it. Sihyung works his mouth back up Dokyun's body, this time not bothering to alternate between bruised and unbruised skin. Each kiss lands on a sore spot, each flash of pain goes straight to Dokyun's dick. Dokyun doesn't lose it until Dokyun moves back down to his worst injury; Sihyung plants a wet, open-mouthed kiss to Dokyun's abused hip, his tongue pressing right into the worst of the injury, and Dokyun comes hard. His entire body jerks as he empties into Sihyung's hand, making a mess of Sihyung's shirt.

When Sihyung pulls away, Dokyun is panting hard. He gives Sihyung just enough time to toss off his dirty shirt before dragging Sihyung back down. Sihyung ends up landing slightly on Dokyun's injuries, but the pain makes him moan despite being utterly spent. He pulls Sihyung into a sweaty embrace, kissing him silly, because it occurs to him they haven't kissed nearly enough since returning home. He feels lighter now, and not just from Sihyung's top notch care. The world feels a little brighter, the thought of returning to practice tomorrow less daunting.

"It's going to be okay," Sihyung murmurs into Dokyun's ear, and Dokyun has to agree. 

-

The next day, Dokyun manages one successful dive, and the entire practice room erupts with applause. Dokyun earns a few more bruises, too, but he finds he doesn't mind those so much.


End file.
